uncertain times

 

Still trying, as we all are, to squeeze some enjoyment out of this strange year, I accepted an invitation from someone I hardly knew to spend a day out of Dakar, some 60km away, where he was going to visit his parents.  The picture above was taken from his front door.  There we had time for a walk along the beach, as well as a walk through the fields to where his father was tending aubergine, pepper and peanut plants.  It was pleasant.

& I suppose the year hasn't been too bad, in the sense I that I have been kept busy with work, as well as sorting out personal admin (backing up old photos and personal emails, for example).  Now we are into the depths of the rainy season - and a particularly rainy one, with as much rain falling yesterday as we normally get in the whole three months, leaving many suburbs flooded (and indeed the whole of the peninsula where Dakar is located was cut off from the rest of the country for a few hours, until the floodwaters subsided) - which means high humidity as well as rain, so even the thought of walking around the streets is less inviting than normal.  Our museums, live music venues, national parks and beaches remain closed, and gyms and swimming pools have had to close their doors again as the number of cases in the country continues to (slowly) rise.  So, in the last year of my contract, I cannot make the most of my remaining time here - so frustrating!

Making the situation worse is the knowledge that my contract may even be cut short, with COVID-related falls in the funding of our organisation leading to large proposed cuts, including a 30% reduction in my department's budget.  I've been formally told that my position is one of those at risk, although at the same time I know that there are people lobbying to retain it.  So I sit and await the outcome of consultations on the proposals, not even able to make the most of what might be my last few months here because of the measures in place to stop the spread of this stupid virus.  Hence my focus on backing up personal emails, and so on.

I have also been mulling over what I might do if this job does end soon.  Whether I would go back to the UK.  There are certainly things I would appreciate about going back - reading somewhere today about a glut of figs in Europe right now had my mouth watering! - but as I've been backing up the old emails, I've been reading them, and have been reminded about the things I don't really want to go back to.  The long, cold months of winter (cold to me, who has had fourteen years of life in hot countries), the lack of sunlight (hard to imagine now that it can really get dark at 4pm!!), and the current politics of the place which I know would infuriate me.  Then I wonder whether it would be possible (practically as well as financially) to go and live for a while in Morocco, or Croatia, or Istanbul, or to go backpacking around eastern Europe or south-east Asia.  I can get quite carried away with the possibilities ... and then have to remind myself that I may still get to keep my job.  It's a difficult mental balance between on the one hand convincing myself that if I lose my job it won't really be a bad thing, and on the other hand retaining my motivation to stay!

Hoping that they announce their decision soon as the uncertainty is probably the worst thing, even though I know that every day that goes past without a decision being made, is another day of living here in this warm climate, and another day of earning a salary.