a kind and supportive extrovert???

This post relates to a short conversation I had in Sierra Leone in May - one I find myself still thinking about two months later.

I had spent three days in one of our small offices there in the provinces, and summarised for the two staff who had worked with me what I had observed during my visit - what seemed to be going well, and what needed some improvement.  When I finished, the one I had spent most time with, who had accompanied me into the field to meet project beneficiaries, as well as providing me with the information I needed in the office, asked me a question.  "Are you this kind and supportive to people you meet in your life outside of work, or is this just how you behave to do your job?"

I was a bit thrown by the question, but told him that I didn't think that in my personal life I was particularly renowned for being kind.

Then not long afterwards his colleague started to talk to me about my work/role, and began a sentence, "As an extrovert, you..."  I never got to hear the rest of the intended sentence as I interrupted at that point, astonished at anybody describing me as an extrovert!

But both of these comments on my character got me thinking about the kind of person I am now, and how both my job and my life as an expat might have changed me, if only on a temporary basis.  I have found that the best way to do my job (internal auditor) is to try to explain (and demonstrate) that whilst recognising that being audited is not an experience many like, I am actually there to make their jobs easier in the long term, if they can work with me.  That rather than spending time and energy trying to defend or deflect from lapses in performance, it is better to come clean with me so that we can spend that time and energy in working out why they don't always do things the way they should - what are the blockages and challenges they face to putting in a good performance and delivering good work.  It involves building trust with the staff being audited, and at the end I think it produces a far more useful outcome for all concerned.

Maybe that reflects the fact that I want to do a good job (and that the job is more enjoyable if done without the conflict that can otherwise be there), but I'm not sure that it says anything at all about whether I am a nice person.

However I did notice, around that same time, a couple of occasions when I did (in a very small way) try to be helpful.  Once when someone in a supermarket accidentally knocked some bags off a hook (not noticing), and I rushed to pick them up.  The other time was when someone getting on a flight was struggling to lift her bag into the overhead locker, and again I was quick to help.  Each was an automatic reaction, but I noticed that others around me did not react in that way.  Could it be that the way I behave in my work is making me a nicer person all round??

As for the extrovert thing, well I'm not sure that anyone can change between introversion and extroversion, but again my job does require me to behave in a particular way.  When I turn up to an office to audit them, or to a group of villagers to find out whether/how my organisation has been working with them, I cannot just sit there quietly and shyly saying nothing!  I have to speak out, to lead the situation.  I also wonder here about the impact of being a white person in West Africa, where I am definitely given more attention and respect when I speak out than I would be back in the UK.

Also, as an expat moving to a country where I don't know anyone I have to make an effort to speak to people.  Although I don't think I'm becoming any less introverted, perhaps just more open to responding to any overtures of friendship or conversation by others?  I do though think that the loneliness of an expat life (as a single person) makes me crave company rather more than I would have back home.  For example staying in hostels when I travel is not just about saving money, but as much about looking for company.

What will be interesting will be to see whether there are any long-term changes, ie any that persist when this job ends and I return to a 'normal' life.