moving forward from the low point

One interesting side-effect of the low (lonely) patch that you go through after moving to a new country is the way it pushes you out of your comfort zone.  You have to go out there and try things, even when it would be easier to sit at home and mope, otherwise nothing will change.

So a couple of weeks ago I sent a mesasge to the Internations WhatsApp group (a group whose activity consists of one message about something irrelevant to anyone but the sender on approximately a monthly basis) to ask whether there was anything planned, and if not, whether we could plan something.  With a few mildly encouraging responses, I pushed further.  What about Thursday evening, meeting up somewhere?  Someone suggested the Radisson Blu - walking distance for me and with free entrance to the poolside area where a jazz band play during the evening.  So I made a promise to be there and encouraged others to attend.

Well, one person turned up.  Someone in the Egyptian Embassy, whose tenure has already come to an end and so is expecting to be reassigned to another post any day.  But it was company - and he offered to introduce me to some other people.  "Great!" I thought.  Firstly, well was I interested in deep sea fishing, as a group of them go out every so often to fish - only I'd have to be a strong swimmer as they sometimes get knocked over the side of the boat ... I politely declined that one.  So he had another option - a group who meet around twice a year to go out into the semi-desert and shoot birds.  Can you imagine?  Me, a bird-watcher, shooting birds?!  OK, third option - he would introduce me to the Senegalese lady who is organising the "Miss Senegal" contest.  Not really my cup of tea, but she could be interesting I suppose, so I agreed to that one.  Only he said it would be the following week and that week has already passed with no contact made.

One person who couldn't make the Radisson evening did contact me to meet on a different evening, when he took me to a bit of pebbly, rocky beach with plastic tables set up where women cook fresh fish, although unfortunately he asked them to smother the fish in a very spicy sauce, so I couldn't really eat anything; again, it was company which was nice, but this was a Senegalese man and will probably follow the usual trajectory.  Also, whilst I was waiting in the Radisson hoping someone would turn up, I got into conversation with someone else who was there.  We agreed to meet another time and he suggested the pebbly beach with the plastic tables ... at least this time I was able to specify that I didn't want anything spicy on or with my fish!  We'll see whether any real friendship comes out of those two but I'm not too hopeful.

Then this week was the annual Christmas carols and mince pies do at the British Embassy.  I'd heard it was on from someone in the office, and she tried to get me an invitation but with no luck.  However, the invitations did not have names on, so we printed a second copy of hers and I turned up on spec.  At the gate I was asked my name by the guard, and as he looked down his list I thrust my passport over it to prove my identity, and he said I could go in - I rushed off into the house before he could conclude that I wasn't on the guest list!

There, again, I had to move outside of my comfort zone and interrupt couples and groups of people to ask if I could join them.  I hate doing it, but towards the end of the evening I discovered a very interesting group, working in the security industry (from researching the environment and advising companies and institutions to negotiating for the release of kidnap victims) and one gave me his card as he left ... I've dropped him an email to ask him to let me know if he hears of any activities or, failing that, to perhaps meet up for a drink sometime ... again, way out of my comfort zone but it's the only way to move forward!