the low point

I've hit the low point in my Senegal contract.  A point I knew would come, as I've been here before - both during my first Senegal posting, and during my Panama posting.

It's when you've found somewhere to live, moved in, bought the things that are not provided by the landlord (soap dishes, dustpan and brush, coffee machine, and so on), unpacked all your stuff ... even spent a few evenings and weekends just being there, getting used to your new home.  & then you want to connect with some human beings.  But you don't know anyone outside the office, and perhaps the guy you buy your bread from (who has already looked at you hopefully whilst sharing how he would love a visa for somewhere in Europe...).

It's lonely.  Very lonely.  I recall when it hit me during my previous Senegal posting, which was when I cut my alcohol consumption down to almost nothing, aware of the dangers of coming home to an empty flat and having a nice, comforting glass of wine ... and maybe a second ... I've met alcoholic expats, as there are quite a lot of them, and I didn't want to risk going down that path.  Then you have to remind yourself that the sun is shining, that you saw a parrot on the way home, whatever - that you are living in a different continent, with all of the amazing opportunities that this offers.  & you have to keep reminding yourself of this as you go through this lonely patch.  Because it is only a patch - you will eventually meet someone, who will introduce you to someone else, who will invite you to an event where you'll meet other people ... and you will have your social circle.

Looking back, Panama seems so much easier, as there is the Expats in Panama facebook group, an expats Whatsapp group, an expats Meetup Group, a very active chapter of InterNations, not to mention the Friday evening happy hour in a bar in Marbella, the crowds that gather to watch football/rugby in the Irish Bar...  But it does take time to find all of these things so it took me time to find a social circle there too.

In Dakar there is none of this.  I've signed up to a Birding The Gambia and Senegal facebook group, but it turns out to be populated mostly by bird guides living in The Gambia wanting to sell their tours.  I've also signed up to the Dakar Vegan Group on facebook (although not a vegan), basically anything I can find that might be an entry point into a social group.  I know it will come because it always does, but hate this limbo period.  Made worse in Dakar by false hopes raised by a couple of men, and whether the one who told me he loves me after ten minutes of conversation or the one who was a little more honest and told me (before meeting me in the flesh) that he wants a no-strings sexual relationship, those are NOT what I am looking for.

This phase will pass, but just cross your fingers for me that it passes quickly!